


Call Your Boyfriend

by csh_cyj_pcy



Category: GOT7
Genre: Angst, Cheating, M/M, Mild Language, Mild Sexual Content, POV Third Person, Teen Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-24
Updated: 2019-02-24
Packaged: 2019-11-04 17:04:19
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,518
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17902067
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/csh_cyj_pcy/pseuds/csh_cyj_pcy
Summary: Youngjae is in love with Jaebum. Jaebum is dating Jinyoung.





	Call Your Boyfriend

**Author's Note:**

> I got influenced by the song “Call Your Girlfriend” by Robyn.
> 
> Enjoy my crappy writing.

Youngjae is sure of it. He’s sure that he loves Jaebum. His admiration has turned into romantic feelings. Feelings that consume him on a daily basis whenever he catches a glimpse of Jaebum in the halls. Even when there are days that Youngjae goes without seeing Jaebum, he thinks about what the latter wore or he imagines his smile. 

Youngjae’s in love with Jaebum. But Jaebum’s dating Jinyoung. A slap to the face kind of fact that he learned when he walked to school one morning and he noticed Jaebum and Jinyoung kissing a few blocks from school. He stood a few feet away from them in shock. The way they embraced each other showed that they really cared for one another.

He rushed past, tears threatening to fall. He ran to the restrooms and tried to compose himself before class started. Since then, Youngjae sees them together everywhere. They’re at the school gates, Jaebum’s arm around Jinyoung talking to friends as he walks by in the morning. They hold hands as they walk down the halls. And they sit together at lunch. And god only knows what else they do together that Youngjae isn’t aware of. 

It’s a warm day as he walks to school and he rolls his eyes when the couple comes into view. He rushes by, head down and tuning out the conversation they’re having with friends.

“I heard you guys were doing it when you got busted by Nayeon’s parents at the party last Saturday.” someone says. Youngjae isn’t sure who the redhead is, but he freezes at the words. He turns around just in time to see Jaebum and Jinyoung blush as their friends laugh. He looks away and all but bolts to the closest restroom. He shuts himself in one the stalls and slumps on the seat. Tears run down his cheeks but he tries to repress them. 

He doesn’t understand why he’s crying or why hearing that Jaebum and Jinyoung are doing it comes as a shock to him. They’re a couple and couples to those things when they’ve been together a while. So why is he crying? 

The bell rings and Youngjae composes himself and walks to class. He’s lost in his thoughts and not paying attention when he bumps into someone. He feels himself falling back when someone grabs his arm. He regains his balance and looks to see who he’s collided with. 

His breath is lost for a few seconds. Jaebum stands in front of him, brows furrowed in worry. 

“Are you okay?” He asks, his hand still around Youngjae’s upper arm. The sensation of Jaebum’s hand on him makes him a little delirious. He’s tongue tied and his hands are clammy. 

“Hey are you okay?” Jaebum asks again. Youngjae just stares on. Eyes going from Jaebum’s eyes to his lips. The eyes that feel like they’re looking directly into Youngjae and his soft lips that Youngjae wouldn’t mind kissing everyday until he loses his mind.

Their silent moment is broken when Jinyoung appears behind Jaebum.  
“Is everything alright, what happened?” He asks and walks right up to Youngjae, “Are you okay, you aren’t hurt, right?” He looks Youngjae up and down to see if he’s okay. His voice breaks Youngjae out of his inner thoughts. He breaks away from Jaebum’s grip and looks between the couple.

“Oh, I’m fine. It’s my fault that I wasn’t looking,” he apologizes. 

“It’s Jaebum’s fault for just standing there,” Jinyoung teasingly scolds. He lightly punches the elder on the arm. 

“I was waiting for you as you talked away with Mrs. Lee,” Jaebum pouts a little and Youngjae swoons. Of course he keep it to himself. 

“And I told you to go to class,” Jinyoung replies but he smiles at his boyfriend.

“Whatever, are you sure you’re alright though?” he looks at Youngjae.

He nods sheepishly, “Yeah, I’m okay.” Just then the tardy bell rings and the trio looks up and down the now empty halls. 

“Well now we’re late and it’s all thanks for you,” Jinyoung jokes at Jaebum. The elder rolls his eyes but wraps his arms around Jinyoung. 

Youngjae watches the interaction and shrinks into himself, “I’d better get going.” He takes off before the couple could say anything. 

 

\----

 

It’s lunch time and Youngjae walks absentmindedly through the line, grabbing his food. He looks around the cafeteria after he’s paid. He notices that his usual seat is taken by a group of stoners. Their eyes are bloodshot and they shovel their food down like they’ve starved for days. 

There’s an empty spot near one the exits but it’s been known to be the area where the bullies harass anyone who sits there. He’s about to throw his food away and head to the library when he notices Jinyoung walk towards him. 

“Hey it’s you,” Jinyoung smiles. He has a tray of food too and he looks around the room, “Do you want to sit with me?” He walks off before Youngjae can answer. His stomach grumbles and he follows after the elder. 

Jinyoung is already sitting with his friends when he gets to their table, “Come sit here.” He motions for Youngjae to sit next to him at the end of the table. Four pairs of eyes follow him as he makes his way around to where Jinyoung is. 

“Who’s he?” Youngjae notices that it’s the redhead from last time ask. 

“This is…” Jinyoung trials off and stares at him.

“Youngjae,” he answers.

“Yes, this is Youngjae,” Jinyoung repeats. “I met him with Jaebum this morning.” 

“Oh, this is Mark” he gestures towards the redhead, “This is Jackson,” he points at the brunette next to Mark, “This is Hyunwoo,” he pints to the one next to Jackson, “And this is Seungyoon.” he gestures to the blonde sitting next to Mark’s other side. 

“Hello,” Youngjae shly waves. The others greet him, Jackson being the more enthusiastic one. Jaebum walks up to their table and slides in on Jinyoung’s other side. He greets his friends then his eyes land on Youngjae. 

“Oh hey,” he nods at the younger. 

“This is Youngjae,” Jinyoung introduces him again, “And Youngjae, this is Jaebum.” 

“H-Hello,” Youngjae stutters. With the introductions out of the way, they eat their food as they talk away at whatever comes to mind. But it’s uncomfortable, at least for Youngjae it is. Being just a person away from Jaebum while the elder talks to Seungyoon with his arm around Jinyoung’s waist is torture. He wants to melt away into nothing or run away as far as he can. He’s not hungry anymore so he just picks at his food. 

“You okay?’ he looks at Jinyoung who stares back in concern. “Are you not feeling well?” 

“I’m just not that hungry,” he replies. He notices that the brunette named Hyunwoo is looking at his food. He motions at his tray and Hyunwoo takes it and pills the food onto his own tray. 

“How much can you eat hyung?” the other brunette, Jackson, asks him.

“Powerlifting takes a lot out of you,” Hyunwoo replies as he shovels food down. Jackson gives him his pudding cup.

“What grade are you in Youngjae?” Jackson asks.

“I’m a sophomore,” he replies.   
“Ah, you’re the maknae!” Jackson shouts out. The others roll their eyes at him, but he doesn’t care. 

“What grades are you guys in?” Youngjae asks.

“Hyunwoo hyung, Mark hyung and Jaebum hyung are seniors. Jinyoung, Seungyoon, and I are juniors.” Jackson responds. Youngjae nods at the information. 

“Are you guys coming to Jihyo’s party this Friday? Her parents are out of town,” Jackson says. 

“Yeah, of course, wouldn’t want to miss a party,” Hyunwoo replies. The others agree and start asking if they should pre-party before and who’s gonna buy the booze. 

Youngjae just sits and stares, not really knowing how to join in on the conversation, but he doesn’t care either. 

“Are you coming?” Jackson asks. Youngjae stares at him while the others stare in return.

“Um...sure, I guess,” He responds. Jackson nods his head and hoes back to talking with Mark. 

Youngjae gets up then, “I’m gonna go.”

“Where to?” Jinyoung asks.

“To the library,” he responds. He’s gathering his things when Jaebum stands up. 

“I’m gonna go too. I gotta check out something,” he replies. Youngjae’s heart starts to race. Jaebum kisses Jinyoung on the cheek and they walk out and start their way to the library. Youngjae walks a little behind the elder. He avoids the feet of the students who hang out in the halls than in the cafeteria as he walks by. There’s silence between the two, and Youngjae desperately wants to talk to Jaebum, but he’s unsure of how to start. 

“I’m sorry again about this morning,” Jaebum suddenly says. 

“Oh, no it’s okay. Don’t worry about it,” Youngjae replies fast, he doesn’t want Jaebum to feel bad. 

“You know, you don’t have to come to the party. It’s just gonna be loud music, beer, and people grinding against each other or sucking faces,” Jaebum explains, “It’s not all that fun.” 

“That’s okay, I’ll just end up in my room doing nothing anyway.” Youngjae replies. The library is within view but Youngjae doesn’t want to stop talking with Jaebum yet. But there’s nothing further that he can say. They make it to the library and Jaebum walks off to the direction of the non-fiction section. Youngjae isn’t sure if he should follow him, so he walks the others way. He makes his way to the way back where the encyclopedias are located. 

He sits down against the shelves, he pulls the “H” book at random and flips through it. He soon gets bored with it and puts the book back. He takes his phone out and spends the rest of the lunch period playing games and checking his Instagram. Jaebum doesn’t come, not like he was expecting it. The bell rings and he makes his way to his next class.

 

\----

 

When Youngjae gets home, he catches his mom leaving for work. “I’m home.”

His mom replies his half heartedly as she gathers her phone, purse, and keys. “There’s food in the oven, eat it before it get cold.” She kisses his forehead and rushes out. He throws his backpack on the kitchen table and takes the food out of the oven. He sits down and eats quietly. He looks through his phone and notices that he has notifications from Instagram. Jinyoung and Jackson started following him and Jinyoung DMed him for his number. 

He stares at the message. He’s reluctant to reply, but Jinyoung seems like a nice person. So he gives in and types his number. A few seconds later he gets a notification from Kakao. He’s been added to a group chat with Jinyoung, Jaebum, Jackson, Makr, Hyunwoo, Seungyoon and a few others he doesn’t know. 

From Jinyoung: Hi Youngjae! 

From Jackson: Yo what’s up Jae! 

He looks at the welcome messages. He’s not sure what to reply. He doesn’t really know them enough and he’s always found it hard to talk to new people. But they were nice to him at lunch and that has to count for something. 

From Youngjae: Hi

It’s lame and he know it, but he doesn’t know what else to say. Jackson and a few others message but he doesn’t reply to them. He finishes his food and heads to his room. He slumps on his bed and calls Yugyeom.

“What’s up hyung?” Yugyeom answers on the third ring. 

“I spoke to Jaebum,” was the first thing he said. 

“Wow, really! How’d it go?” Yugyeom aksed, clearly aware of the crush his cousin has. Youngjae explains that morning’s fiasco and lunch time. He also mentions the group chat and party. 

“Wow, so are you going to the party?” his cousin asks.

“Maybe, I don’t know.” Although Youngjae said he’d go, he doesn’t feel confident about it now. 

“You should go, you always stay at home,” Yugyeom said. 

“Not all the time, I go to your house or Bambam’s,” Youngjae argues.

“I’m your cousin and all Bambam wants to do is watch Marvel movies,” Yugyeom shoots back. 

“Why are we talking about my social life now?” Youngjae asks

“We’re talking about your lack of a social life hyung,” Yugyeom laughs and Youngjae swears at him. 

“So you think I should go?” Youngjae questions.

“I don’t see why not?” Yugyeom replies, “Jaebum will be there.”

“Yeah, with Jinyoung,” Youngjae grumbles.

“There’s nothing wrong with staring,” Yugyeom states. 

 

\----

 

It’s Friday and Youngjae waits at the school’s gates for Jinyoung and the others. The elder messaged him that they were going to Jackson’s house for a pre-party. His hands are in his pockets as he waits. He’s nervous but excited. Mostly excited about seeing Jaebum. 

Jackson is actually the first one who arrives. “Are you ready to party!” he wraps his arm around Youngjae’s shoulder and shakes him since he’s so excited. The others arrive soon after and they all walk to Jackson’s. Youngjae falls behind as the others talk away. He notices Jaebum and Jinyoung are in their own world. Jaebum’s arm is slung around Jinyoung’s shoulder while Jinyoung’s arm is wrapped around Jaebum’s waist. They’re laughing about something, probably an inside joke of theirs.

Youngjae tries not to stare, he doesn’t want to be depressed about it; it’s difficult though. The person of his affection is a few feet away, but he’s with someone else. Whispering jokes to someone else. Staring only at someone else. Someone that’s not Youngjae. And although Youngjae has no ill thoughts of Jinyoung since the elder has been nothing but nice to him, he can’t help the twinge of jealousy that bubbles in the pit of his stomach. 

He’s broken out of his pity party by Jackson who waits for him to catch up. “Why so down?” The elder asks. 

“Just nervous about the party, I’ve never been to one,” Youngjae tells half the truth. Aside from the couple in front of him, his thoughts also wonder to the party and how he’ll survive. 

“Don’t worry, I’ll hang out with you throughout it if you’d like.” Jackson encourages him, a smile beams from ear-to-ear. 

“Thanks hyung,” Youngjae smiles a little. After a few minutes, they make it to Jackson's house. They walk down to the basement and start opening cans of beer. They talk and play on Jackson's PS4. Youngjae takes small sips of his beer. It's bitter and burns his throat, but overall it's okay. 

They lounge around until they decide that it's a good enough time to leave. It's already dark when they make it to Jihyo's place and when they get there, the place is packed. Everyone takes off in different directions that Youngjae didn't know where to follow. He lost sight of Jackson so he walked around the living room. He snatched a plastic cup from a nearby table and continued walking.

The music was loud and screamed into his ears. Couples were making out while a group of guys played beer pong.

He made his way outside where more people surrounded or were in the pool. It sinks in as to how big Jihyo's house is and he walks past the pool. Near the edge of where the property line ends, there's a shed that Youngjae decides to sit and lean against. The music fades into the distance as he sips his beer. He watches the his classmates near the pool and wished he was confident enough to mingle about, but he's not. He takes his phone and messages Yugyeom.

To Yugyeom: at the party

He sips more of his beer while he waits for his cousin to reply.

To Youngjae: how is it?.

To Yugyeom: boring

To Youngjae: is it really? or are you just making it that way?

To Yugyeom: the guys I came with ditched me.

To Youngjae: then go talk to some other people

To Yugyeom: do you even know me?

To Youngjae: unfortunately so

To Yugyeom: fuck you

Youngjae finishes his beer and just leaves the empty cup by his side. He's waiting for Yugyeom's reply when he notices someone walk up to him. 

“There you are,” Jaebum says and sits down next to Youngjae. 

“Oh, hey'” Youngjae greets, fully aware of how close Jaebum is to him. There knees are touching and Youngjae tries to keep calm.

“Jinyoung was looking for you. He felt bad about leaving alone,” Jaebum rubs his hand of the dirt when he sat down and looks at Youngjae. 

“It's okay, I didn't want to get in your way,” Youngjae replies, not wanting to feel like a third wheel.

“Nah don't worry about that, Jinyoung loves company,” Jaebum says.

“I'm good here,” Youngjae says. 

“You don't like the party?” Jaebum asks.

“I don't know anybody,” Youngjae honestly says. 

“That's the whole point of parties; to meet new people,” Jaebum responds. 

“Yeah, well I'm not that social,” Youngjae counters back. 

“That makes two of us.” Jaebum leans his head against the shed's wall and looks up at the night sky. Youngjae copies him. They can vividly see the stars since the house's lights blurs them. 

“You don't like parties either?” Youngjae asks from Jaebum's last comment.

“No, not really, but Jinyoung does,” Jaebum answers, not taking his eyes off the sky.

“What do you like to do then?” Youngjae asks.

“Read and I write songs,” Jaebum says.

“Really, that's cool,” Youngjae's heart swoon as he learned something about Jaebum. 

“Yeah but I'm not that good,” Jaebum sheepishly says.

“Do you want to be a songwriter, or a producer?” 

“Maybe just a song writer. I can write the lyrics but I'm not quite sure on how I want it to sound,” Jaebum explains. Youngjae nods at the explanation. 

“That sounds like an amazing goal,” Youngjae says. 

“You think so? Jinyoung says I should be thinking more practical, like a teacher, doctor, nurse, or lawyer, stuff like that.”

“You're a senior this year, right?” 

“Yeah, I graduate in six months.” 

“Wow, you must be excited.”

“Excited, nervous, pressured, I'm feeling everything.” 

“Pressured?” Youngjae asks.

“My parents also think like Jinyoung, they're aiming for me to go to law school.”

“Oh, that does suck, I feel pressured for you.” 

Jaebum laughs and Youngjae soaks it in. “Thanks, I'm glad I'm not alone.” 

“You've still got two more years left, right?” Jaebum asks.

“Yeah, I do. I've got about 24 months until I graduate.”

“Wow, that's being quite accurate,” Jaebum laughs again. “Got any ideas of what you want to do.” 

“My mother wants me to an accountant,” Youngjae explains.

“That's specific,” Jaebum adds.

“Yeah it is, but I don't know,” Youngjae says.

“What do you want to do the most?” Jaebum asks.

Youngjae blushes, “I like to sing.”

“You want to be a singer?”

“Yeah, kind of. But I have stage fright. I only sing in my room when my mom's not home.” 

“I bet you sound amazing.” Jaebum says and he looks at Youngjae.

“No, I don't think so.” Youngjae can't look at Jaebum. It goes silent between them. Then Youngjae feels Jaebum's hand on his cheek as he lifts his face. Youngjae is forced to stare at Jaebum. Their eyes lock for what feels like eternity. Youngjae isn't sure what's about to happen or what he wants to happen, but before he could find out, his phone buzzes.

From Jinyoung: Youngjae, where are you?

Youngjae stares at the message, “I think we should go.” He makes his way to stand when Jaebum tugs at his wrist, pulling him back down. Youngjae stumbles and he leans a bit on Jaebum. 

Jaebum still has a grip on his wrist and he feels the elder's other arm go around his waist. It happens like lightning; fast and accelerating. Jaebum's lips are pressed against his. It's a shock, one that took him completely by surprise. He doesn't know what to do and he's frozen still. The hand that gripped his wrist moved to his hair and Jaebum slowly tugs on it. 

Youngjae timidly starts to move his lips against Jaebum's. It's sloppy and Youngjae hopes he's doing it right. He feels himself get pushed down onto the ground as Jaebum hovers over him. 

He breaks away from the kiss to stare down at Youngjae. “You're so beautiful,” he whispers. 

Youngjae's cheeks flush red. Jaebum kisses him again and Youngjae is quick to match him. He feels Jaebum's hand move under his shirt and Youngjae shivers at the sensation. But before anything else can go further, they're interrupted by a drunk couple who stumbles over to the shed. They're kisses are rushed and the guy starts to pull down his pants while the girl slides her panties off since she's wearing a skirt. 

The distraction is enough for Jaebum to quickly get off him. “W-We should go,” he says and takes off back to the house. 

Youngjae stares at his fading figure and slowly walks too.

 

\----

 

Youngjae stares at his ceiling fan. It's Saturday morning but he's not ready to get out of bed yet. He looks at the unread messages from the group chat and from Yugyeom who finally messaged back around 11:00 pm. 

After what happened, Youngjae couldn't stay at the party any longer. He left without a word and made it home 20 minutes before midnight. 

He went to bed but had a sleepless night. The incident kept replaying in his head. 

Jaebum kissed him. He kissed Jaebum. The whole thing made Youngjae's heart skip a beat and the adrenaline from it came rushing back. But then Jinyoung's face pops into his head and everything vanishes. 

He sits up in bed and runs his hands through his hair. He kissed Jaebum who's in a relationship with Jinyoung. Jinyoung who's been nothing but nice to him since they've met. And Jinyoung is a nice person, one who Youngjae would love to have as a friend. And he did something behind his back with his boyfriend.

No matter how big of a crush Youngjae has on Jaebum, the guilt he feels towards Jinyoung is much greater. Because had that couple not interrupted them, he feels that he and Jaebum would have taken things further. 

It's in the afternoon that he decides to get up. He head downstairs to the kitchen and notices that his mom left a note. She was called into work and wouldn't be back until the evening. He leaves the note where he found it and rummages through the fridge. 

When he’s got what he’s going to eat, he heads into the living room to watch some tv. He chews as he flips through the channels, looking for nothing in particular. He settles on an Animal Planet show about newborn puppies and kittens. But watching cute Corgis walk for the first time isn’t enough to distract him. He keeps thinking back to the night before and what it all meant. 

He admits that he had a light buzz from the beers he had, but he was still sober enough to understand what was going on. And he feels horrible that he wanted for it to continue. His hand goes to his lips and he closes his eyes. He he imagines Jaebum still on top of him, his lips ravishing his own. 

Hot and needy like they both had wanted it for a long time, well at least Youngjae did. He moans as he imagines Jaebum biting his lips and and palming his growing erection. 

A knock at the door throws him out of his daydream. He gets up and opens the door to find Yugyeom and Bambam on the other side. 

“Why didn’t you reply to my texts?” Yugyeom asks as he walks in. 

Bambam follows after with a nod to Youngjae. “What’s up hyung?” 

“Sorry I crashed as soon as I got home,” Youngjae lies as he follows the freshmen to the living room. He takes the recliner couch since they took the other couch. Bambam takes the remote and changes the channel. It changes to the movie, “Black Panther” and he settles into the couch. 

“So how was the party?” Yugyeom asks; he steals whatever food Youngjae has left on his plate. 

Youngjae sinks deeper into the recliner, “It was okay.”

“Just okay?” Yugyeom asks between bites. 

“You went to a party?” Bambam asks, not taking his eyes off the tv. 

“Yeah, but it was pretty lame,” Youngjae said.

“Or did you make it lame for yourself?” Yugyeom asks the same thing he did last night. “Did you hang out with any of those guys you went with?”

“I didn’t see them after we arrived.”

“You didn’t bother to look for them?” 

“No, I just went outside and stayed out there until I left.”  
“What were you doing?” 

Youngjae hesitates and looks at the tv. It’s at the part where T’Challa and Erik Killmonger are fighting. He watches, but he’s not processing what’s going on. He contemplates on whether he should say what happened or not. 

“Hyung, you alright? Did something happen?” Yugyeom asks, his eyebrows furrowed in concern. Youngjae looks away from the tv and stares at his cousin. He could tell Yugyeom and Bambam anything, they wouldn’t judge him. Well he’s hoping that doesn’t change. 

“Something did happen last night,” he starts. “You know Jaebum?”

“How could I not? He’s all you talked about since you were a freshmen,” Yugyeom jokes, but the look on Youngjae’s face stills him. 

Youngjae takes a deep breath, “He kissed me.” 

Yugyeom’s eyes go wide and Bambam looks away from the movie. “What?!” 

“He kissed me,” Youngjae repeats.

“No, I know. I heard that, but what?” Yugyeom asks, “Isn’t he dating someone...Jinyoung. Was that his name?”

“Wait hyung, you kissed someone who’s dating?” Bambam has forgotten about the movie completely. 

“Yes, but he kissed me first,” Youngjae tires to defend. 

“Did you do anything else?” Yugyeom asks.

“No, we were interrupted,” Youngjae answers. “But if we weren’t, I think we would have taken things further.” 

“Oh my gosh hyung,” Yugyeom says. Youngjae can’t meet their eyes and so he looks at his hands. He can feel tears start to form. 

“I know, I feel so bad about it, I feel like shit.” He wipes away the tear that ends up falling down.

“Look hyung, we’re not trying to be mad at you. We’re just surprised,” Yugyeom tries to comfort him. 

“Yeah, who knew you had it in you,” Bambam says.   
“I’m just as surprised myself.” 

“What’re gonna do now?” 

“I don’t know, it’s not like I really know them,” Youngjae explains, “I’ll just stop talking to them or something. Avoid them like the plague.”

“Good luck with that,” Bambam says and goes back to the tv. 

 

\----

 

It’s Tuesday and Youngjae is in the library during lunch. He managed to avoid seeing Jinyoung and the others on Monday and he took to eating a sandwich out in the halls than be in the cafeteria. He’s in his usual spot, with his headphones on, listening to Sløtface when lo and behold, Jaebum walks down the aisle. Youngjae is frozen still, he flinches when Jaebum stands in front of him.

“Can I sit?” he whispers and he slides down the opposite shelf before Youngjae can answer. It’s not like he could though. 

Youngjae stares at his phone, he pauses his music when he notices Jaebum and now he’s looking through his Instagram, but not registering the posts. 

“I didn’t see at the party anymore. Did you get home safe?” Jaebum asks and Youngjae can feel his eyes on him. 

“Uh...yeah, I took off. Wasn’t feeling it anymore,” Youngjae manages to say. 

“Oh, did you not like it?” Jaebum asks.

“Like what?” 

“The kiss.”

Youngjae looks up, wide eyed. He hadn’t thought that Jaebum would mention what happened, cindersing on how he bolted. He’s also still trying to figure out as to why he’s here. 

“Uh….” Youngjae’s speechless. And within a split second, Jaebum is hovering over him, lips pressed against Youngjae’s. 

Shocked for a second time, he sits still and let’s Jaebum kiss him. It’s when Jaebum runs his mouth against his neck that Youngjae pushed him away.

“What are you doing?” Youngjae whispers harshly, remembering that they’re in the library. 

“You like me,” Jaebum says.

“What? No I don’t,” Youngjae lies. 

“Yes, you do. You think I haven’t noticed the stares?” A playful smile graces Jaebum’s face.

“Okay, what about it?” Youngjae argues, “You’re with Jinyoung hyung.” 

“Yeah, I know.” 

“Okay, then why are you doing this?” Youngjae is so confused. He brings his knees up to his chest and buries his head. Hot tears threaten to fall and he doesn’t want Jaeum to see. He feels the elder sit next to him and he tries to move away.

“I like that you like me,” Jaebum says. 

“What, that’s not fair,” Youngjae looks at him, his tears falling down unwillingly. Jaebum notices and wipes them away. “Why are you doing this? Do you like me?” 

Jaebum ruffles his hair, “I don’t know, but when we kissed it felt right.” 

“I don’t understand,” Youngjae says. 

“I’ve been with Jinyoung since he was 13 and I was 14. But we were friends since we were little.” Jaebum explains. “I love him, but I don’t know if it’s enough.”

“Why do you say that?” Youngjae whispers, his heart breaking when Jaebum said he loves Jinyoung, but it shouldn’t have come as a surprise. 

“I’m happy when I’m with him, but I don’t completely feel myself.” 

“Then break up, it’s not like you guys can’t be friends still,” Youngjae says.

“I wish it were that easy,” Jaebum leans his head against the shelves. 

“I guess relationships are no walk in the park,” Youngae says.

“No, they’re not,” Jaebum responds. They sit in silence, they here the bell ring which signals that lunch is over, but neither of them make any sign of leaving.

“I did it on purpose,” Jaebum says after a while.

“Did what?” Youngjae asks.

“When you bumped into me, I stood there on purpose.” Jaebum explains, “I wanted to have a chance to talk to you.” 

“By possibly causing harm?” Youngjae scolds, but a smile ghosts his face.

“Yeah, I wasn’t expecting to almost fall. You seemed distracted.” Jaebum laughs. 

“I was thinking about something.”

“What was it about?” 

Youngjae doesn’t feel comfortable with Jaebum knowing why, but they’ve already said so much. He doesn’t see the point in hiding it.

“I was thinking about you and Jinyoung, I overheard you and your friends talking on the way into school. They said you got caught doing it.” Youngjae says. Jaebum doesn’t say anything. “You guys are together and you can do whatever you want, but it still took me off guard to hear that.”

“I’m sorry,” was all Jaebum said.

“Why are you apologizing? It’s natural between couples,” Youngjae wipes a tear away. 

Jaebum grabs Youngjae’s face and smashes their faces together. The kiss is deep and needy, like Jaebum is trying to convey something to him, but Youngjae can’t decipher it. He tries to push him away, but Jaebum pushes him down and grabs his wrists. He has them in one hand over Youngjae’s head while the other, roams under his shirt. 

Youngjae struggles a bit, but when Jaebum grazes his nipple, he lets out a soft moan. Jaebum doesn’t hesitate to mingle their tongues together. At this point Youngjae gives in and stops struggling. Jaebum notices and lets go of his wrists. He wraps his arms around Jaebum’s head and pushes him forward. As close as they could be possible. Youngjae moans softly when Jaebum moves to his neck and starts peppering him with kisses. There’s soft bites too which makes Youngjae start to lose all reasoning. 

Jaebum’s about to push Youngjae’s shirt up further with they hear a gasp. They look and notice the librarian standing a few feet away. 

“What on earth are you doing?!”

 

\----

 

They’re both suspended for a week and have detention for three months after. The librarian was visibly shaken and was spewing disappointed remarks as she escorted them to the principal’s office. Jaebum was nonchalant while Youngjae was bright red. His mother had to come and pick him up and didn’t say anything on the drive home. 

It’s Thursday afternoon and Youngjae is in the living room, watching the ID Channel. His mom took his phone and computer away so he has no way in contacting Yugyeom. He would go to Yugyeom’s house, but his mom grounded him from leaving the house, plus Yugyeom lives all across town. 

He goes in and out of listening to the tv when there’s a knock on his door. He gets up, head trying to figure out who could it be, his mother didn’t order anything and the mail already came. He opens the door cautiously and is taken aback to find Jaebum standing there. 

“What the- What are you doing here?” Youngjae asks, “How do you know where I live?”

“I followed you on Tuesday,” Jaebum says, “Are you gonna let me in?” Youngjae opens the door further and Jaebum walks in. He leads him to the living room where they sit and watch tv. They don’t say anything for a few minutes.

“Why are you here?” Youngjae asks again.

“I wanted to see you,” Jaebum bluntly answers. The words make Youngjae’s heart skip. 

“Really?” 

“Yeah I did,” Jaebum grabs his hand. They hold hands and watch tv for an hour. 

Youngjae checks the time on the tv, “My mom is gonna be home soon.” He turns to Jaebum to find that he’s looking at him. “How long have you been staring at me?”

“The whole time,” Jaebum replies.

“No way, I don’t believe you,” Youngjae blushes.   
“I swear I have,” Jaebum laughs. Youngjae laughs too. They get up and walk to the door, all the while still holding hands. Jaebum’s the one that opens the door and walks out. He turns and faces Youngjae, still holding hands. 

“I’ll see you later,” he says and leans in and kisses Youngjae. It’s chaste and quick, but it leaves Youngjae wanting more. He closes the door when Jaebum leaves and goes back into the living room.

His mom arrives home thirty minutes later and they eat dinner together. It’s quiet, with his mom looking at files on her laptop. He moves his food around his plate and takes a few bites. When dinners over, he puts the leftovers away and washes the dishes. His mom goes into her room and so he does into his. He lies on his bed. He’s bored without his phone or computer and he doesn’t feel like watching tv anymore. 

He stares at the band posters on his wall. Youngjae tries to find the hidden message behind their gazes, but he comes up with nothing. The sun’s still out, but he doesn’t know what to do. He decides to sleep then. 

It’s several hours later when he wakes up and hearing a tapping on his window. Still drowsy with sleep, he makes his way to his window and is now completely awake. Jaebum is outside his window.

He quickly opens it and ushers Jaebum in. Jaebum slides down from the window and closes it when he’s in. youngjae backs away from him, surprised to see that he’s here, in his room. 

“What are you doing here?” He asks.

“I wanted to see you again,” Jaebum says and he moves toward him. He wraps his arms around Youngjae and buries his head in the younger’s neck. 

“You keep saying that,” Youngjae chuckles and grips Jaebum’s jacket. Youngjae walks backwards as Jaebum follows, not letting him go and they stumble on his bed. Jaebum adjusts himself on top of not, not wanting to put too much of his weight on Youngjae. 

“I can’t seem to get enough of you,” Jaebum smiles. Youngjae smiles back. They kiss and Youngjae is the one to initiate it. 

Jaebum takes off his jacket and shirt and while Youngjae takes his off too. Jaebum kisses him up and down his chest and Youngjae starts to lose it. He moans when Jaebum starts to undo his pants and then everything goes blank.

 

\----

 

Youngjae wakes up the next day alone. He gets up and hisses in pain from his lower back. Jaebum is gone along with any indication that he was here. Youngjae slumps back on his bed.

He turns and notices a piece of paper on his side table. He picks it up and it’s a note from jaebum. 

 

Sorry that I had to leave without saying goodbye. I have to take care of some things. Hope I didn’t hurt you, I’ll see you later.

Love,   
Jaebum

 

Youngjae smiles at the love part. He puts the note down and decides to go back to bed since he’s still tired.

 

\----

 

Youngjae doesn’t see Jaebum after that. He’s back in school and he’s getting things from his locker when Jackson shows up. 

“Hey, didn’t see all last week. What happened?” 

“Oh, I was sick, it was pretty bad,” Youngjae lies, not sure if he should tell the truth. 

Jackson backs away and covers his mouth, “Are you better?” He muffles out. Youngjae laughs and shakes his head.

“I’m all better, I swear.”

Jackson puts his hand down, “Okay, cool.” Youngjae closes his locker and the two stand there awkwardly. 

“So are you doing anything after school?” Jackson asks.

‘Uh, I’m busy,” Youngjae says. Starting today he’s got detention after school, but he feels like he shouldn’t say that either. 

“Oh, what about tomorrow?” 

“The same.”

“When are you free?” 

With all these questions, Youngjae decides to come clean, “I actually have after school detention.”

“What? Really, you?” Jackson starts to laugh.

“It’s not funny,” Youngjae scolds.

“No, I’m just surprised that it’s you. You don’t seem like the type to get into trouble.”

“Yeah well, I’, full of surprises,” Youngjae jokes.

“Yeah, I bet you are,” Jackson smiles at him. “How long are you gonna be there?”

“Probably an hour,” Youngjae answers.

“Okay, I’ll wait for you,” Jackson says.

“No, that’s okay. I’m just gonna go home right after,” He’s still grounded wit his mom. 

“Come on, you’re young and you should go out,” Jackson argures, “Please?” He pouts which makes Youngjae cringe.

“Okay, just don’t ever do that again,” Youngjae agrees. Jackson laughs and takes off. Youngjae heads off to class too.

 

\----

 

It’s after school and Youngjae heads to detention. He’s dreading it so much, but there’s no way out of it. Mr. Park, the teacher in charge, greets him as he walks in. There’s a few other kids, but he doesn’t see Jaebum. He takes a seat near the front and stares at the posters above the chalkboard. 

A few more kids show up, none of them being Jaebum. Mr. Park instructs that there should be silence and that they should work on homework if they have any. Youngjae has some, but he looks at the door.   
Jaebum doesn’t show up at all. With detention over, Youngjae starts to walk to the school’s entrance. Jackson’s waiting for him at the gates and he walks up to him.

“Sorry, but thanks for waiting,” Youngjae says. 

“Don’t worry about it, let’s go,” Jackson takes off and Youngjae follows. They’re both hungry and they stop for some burgers. Jackson talks most of the time, but Youngjae is okay with it. He needs a distraction. 

They go in and out of shops around the downtown area after they eat. Jackson makes jokes about some of the questionable items they see and Youngjae is all smiles and laughter. It’s dark when Youngjae decides that he needs to get home. Jackson walks him to the bus stop.

“Thanks, I had a great time,” He says.

“No problem, I had fun too,” Jackson says. “You wanna do this again tomorrow?”

“I’ve got detention again.”

“For how long do you have it?”

“Three months.”

“Man, what did you do?”

“I’d rather not talk about it.” The bus shows up and Youngjae bids Jackson goodbye. 

When he gets home, his mom is furious that he’s home so late. They argue and he slams his door shut. He sits at his desk and twirls around in the chair. 

He hears a tap at the window. He stares at Jaebum on the other side. He gets out of his chair and opens it. “What do you want?”

“Mind if you let me in?” Jaebum asks, it’s cool out. 

“Why should I?”

“So we can talk.”

Youngjae moves away and sits back on his chair. Jaebum climbs in and closes the window. He sits on Youngjae’s bed, a foot away from Youngjae. 

“Okay, talk,” Youngjae has his arms crossed.   
“Hey, why are you mad?” Jaebum asks.

“It’s been about a week since I last saw you,” Youngjae says.

“I told you, I was taking care of something,” Jaebum replies.

“And it takes a week?” Youngjae sarcastically says. His arms are crossed by this point and he’s not looking at Jaebum anymore.

“Yeah, but it’s not like I wasn’t thinking about you,” Jaebum says. He reaches out and pulls Youngjae’s chair closes. Youngjae is in between his legs. “Did you think about me?”

“No,” Youngjae says quickly.

“Liar,” Jaebum teases. He ruffles the Youngjae’s hair and he doesn’t do anything to stop him. Jaebum grabs his chin and makes Youngjae look at him. Jaebum smiles and kisses him. “Come here.” He takes Youngjae’s hand and leads him to the bed. They lie on the sides facing each other. Jaebum wraps his arm around Youngjae, bringing him closer and kisses him. Youngjae has one arm around Jaebum’s waist. 

They kiss until air is eventually needed. Jaebum buries his face in Youngjae’s hair. “I love holding you.” 

Youngjae smiles into Jaebum’s chest. They lie there, holding onto each other for what seems like hours. Youngjae eventually goes to sleep. When he wakes up, Jaebum is gone. 

He looks to see if there’s any note. There is and he picks is up.

 

You looked so beautiful sleeping, I couldn't bare to wake you up. I wish I could’ve stayed longer.

Love,  
Jaebum

\----

 

Jaebum goes MIA for another week and Youngjae is starting to get upset. He avoids the cafeteria and secretly hopes Jaebum would be in the library, but no luck. And since he got his phone back, he’s been ignoring the messages from Jinyoung, he just can’t seem to face him. 

The only one who he hangs out with is Jackson. The elder has been waiting after school for him and they go hang out wherever. His mom stopped arguing after the fourth time he got home late. 

Also, not once has Jaebum shown up to detention and Youngjae has stopped hoping. 

It’s after school and he’s heading to detention when he stops Jaebum amongst the crowd of people. He smiles when he sees him and he starts to walk toward him. But he stops mid stride when he notices Jinyoung with him. The younger of the two has his arms wrapped around Jaebum’s neck. And Jaebum has his around Jinyoung’s waist. 

Jaebum is whispering something into Jinyoung’s ear which makes the younger laugh. Then they share a kiss. 

Youngjae turns the other way, not wanting to see anymore. He takes off and ditches detention. He runs all the way home and goes straight to his room. He throws himself on his bed and goes under the comforter. The image replays again and again in his head. He closes his eyes shut, wanting for everything to disappear. He cries until he can’t cry anymore and goes to sleep.

Again he wakes up and there’s a tap on his window. He doesn’t go to answer it. It taps again and again. Youngjae tries to block it out but it continues. With a deep sigh, he throws his comforter off and he marches to the window.

“What? I don’t want you here.” He glares at Jaebum who looks clueless.

“Hey, what’s wrong? Let me in,” Jaebum says.

“I’d rather not,” Youngjae says and makes way to close the window. Jaebum is quick and stronger to stop him and pushes his way in. Youngjae gives up and walks away. His back is turned when Jaebum closes the door. It’s quiet and then Youngjae feels arms wrap around his waist.

He yanks them off and moves away, “Why are you here?”

“I wanted to see you,” Jaebum softly says. 

“See me? I doubt that,” Youngjae scoffs.

“I really do,” Jaebum says and moves around so Youngjae is facing him. Youngjae looks away.

“You were gone for another week. Why?” 

“I had something to do,” Jaebum says.  
“You always have something to do,” Youngjae starts, “With Jinyoung hyung.”

“What are you talking about?”

“I saw you after school with him, you were all over each other,” Youngjae can feel tears begin to form. 

“Youngjae…” Jaebum trials off. 

“I don’t understand it, all of it,” Youngjae begins, “What are we? Are we even something?” 

“I always want to see you,” Jaebum responds.

“But you’re with Jinyoung hyung, how can you say that.”

“It’s complicated Youngjae.”

“Explain it to me then, because I’m tired of this,” Youngjae gestures between them, “whatever this is.” 

“I love you,” Jaebum says. Youngjae’s heart soars and his eyes go wide.

“But you love Jinyoung hyung,” Youngjae’s rational mind says. 

“Yeah, I do.”

“Then why do this?”

“I couldn’t let you get away. I feared someone else would take you,” Jaebum grabs his hands and pulls them close to his chest. Youngjae can feel his heart beating rapidly. 

“Then what now? Are you going to break up with Jinyoung hyung?” Youngjae is hopefully but Jaebum lets go of his hands. 

“I don’t think I can,” Jaebum says. Any hope that Youngjae had shatters, just like his heart. 

He moves away from Jaebum, “I think you should go.” He feels Jaebum stare at him, but he says nothing. He hears the window open and closes. Youngjae slumps in the bed and cries.

 

\----

 

Youngjae doesn’t go to school for the next few days. He doesn’t get out of bed either. He locked his door so his mom couldn’t come in. she knocks on his door to ask if he’s alright, but he doesn’t answer her. She stopped after the second day. 

He doesn’t reply to any of Yugyeom’s or Bambam’s, even Jackson’s texts. It’s been a couple hours since his mom left for work and he makes his way downstairs. He’s not hungry, but he doesn’t want to be in his room anymore. He absentmindedly watching tv when there’s a knock on his door. 

He lowkey thinks it might be Jaebum, but he knows that’s not possible. When he opens the door, he’s shocked to find Jinyoung standing there. He has half a mind to close the door and run back to his room, but he doesn’t.

“Hi Youngjae, it’s been a while,” Jinyoung smiles at him. It makes Youngjae feel like shit. “Can we talk? Do you want to take a walk?”

Youngjae nods since he’s at a loss for words. He puts on his shoes and he grabs his phone and house keys. He follows Jinyoung down the steps and walks side-by-side of him. It’s silent between the two of them. Jinyoung has his hands in his jacket pockets. Youngjae’s are just awkwardly by his side.

They walk near the park in his neighborhood. They sit on one of the benches and look at the mother’s there with there kids who aren’t old enough for school. 

“I talked with Jaebum,” Jinyoung starts, “He told me everything that’s happened between you two.”

“E-Everything?” Youngjae can’t face him.

“Yeah, everything.” Jinyoung confirms.

“I’m so sorry and you have every right to be angry with me.”

“I’m honestly not that all surprised,” Jinyoung admits. 

“You’re not?” 

“No, he’s had his eyes on you for a while now. Whether you were aware of it or not.”

“What?” Youngjae is taken aback by the news.

“Jaebum told you that we’ve been friends since we were kids and that we’ve been together for a while,” Jinyoung asks and Youngjae nods his head. “I’ve liked him romantically since I was nine and I was scared he’d find out about it.”

“I didn’t want to lose his friendship, but then he told me that he liked me back and we naturally started dating, like it was meant to be. And it was great for the first year and a half.”

Jinyoung pauses to gain his composure. Youngjae notices his sad expression.

“I knew he loved me, but there were times when he just wasn’t all there even when he was sitting right next to me. I knew before he did that he wasn’t feeling it about us anymore. But I was scared to admit it.”

“It finally hit when he saw you on the first day of school this year. You should’ve seen him, it was like you took his breath away. It was an expression that I’ve never seen on him, not even toward me.” 

There were times when he wasn’t paying attention and I’d look up and there you were, walking down the halls. And I knew he bumped into you on purpose a few weeks ago. he’s like an open book. I knew then that it was over too.”

Youngjae stares at Jinyoung, words caught in his throat. They sit there for a few minutes.

“I’m so sorry hyung,” Youngjae finally says. 

“It’s not your fault, it’s not his nor mine. That’s just love,” Jinyoung smiles at him and Youngjae notices his eyes are glassy.

“I’ll always love Jaebum and he’ll always love me, but we don’t have to be together for that.” 

“What do you mean?” 

“I broke up with him, it was the logical thing to do,” Jinyoung says. “I have my pride you know.” He teases. He turns away but Youngjae notices that he wiped his tears away. 

Jinyoung stands up, “I should get going.” Youngjae stands up too. 

“Take care of him, Youngjae. Okay?” Jinyoung asks. Youngjae nods his head. Jinyoung gives him one last smile and walks away. 

 

\----

 

It’s Saturday evening when Youngjae sees Jaebum. He’s in his room trying to catch up on homework when Jaebum taps on the window. Youngjae opens it and waits for Jaebum to come inside.

They stand two feet away from each other, eyes locked on one another’s. 

“Hi,” Youngjae says.

“Hi,” Jaebum repeats after him.

They both break out into smiles and Jaebum strides over to him. He wraps his arms tightly around Youngjae, he breathes in the younger’s scent. Youngjae wraps his arms around Jaebum too and buries his face into the crook of the elder’s neck. 

“I’m sorry,” Jaebum says as he pulls away a bit. 

“I’m sorry too,” Youngjae says. His eyes are a bit watery.

Jaebum cups his face, “I love you.”

“I love you too,” Youngjae smiles. Jaebum smiles too and pulls him into a kiss.


End file.
